Not just Blue

I don’t need flowers or lovely cards,

it’s just that depression can be so hard.

I want to be happy, productive and fun,

I like to be the jolly one.

I used to be full of joy and laughter.

If only I could explain what’s the matter.

If only I knew what’s happened to me,

where the joy went, where my happiness has gone,

It’s been so long I’ve tried to overcome this disease,

But it does what it wants, takes over my life if you please.

I find my brain just doesn’t want to cooperate,

So many bad choices it has caused me to make.

So much enjoyment I’ve lost to the blues.

I have seeked counselling, paid my dues.

But each time my mind takes a turn for the worst,

I loose my joy,. my head wants to burst.

I need some help, someone who can try to see,

Someone who understands me.

This is not a choice I made long ago,

there is a lacking in chemicals in my mind, this I know.

Drugs try to replace them, so I’ll be better,

But so many say, ‘I just don’t get her’.

Suck it up, pick yourself up and make progress,

Believe me I really try my best.

When dark clouds hang over my head,

I look for the sun, silver lining, a way to clear my head.

If it were only as easy as it used to be,

Back in the days when I was surrounded by family.

Loneliness, takes it’s toll

Makes it hard to find peace for the soul.

A New Year should be a chance to renew hope.

I can’t seem to organize myself, I feel like a dope!

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